My Story
My name is Payton Maurer and I am 24 years old. I’ve spent most of my life trying to please everyone around me. As a little girl, I developed this deep-seated belief that attributed my value as a person to the approval and acceptance of others. I worked hard to exceed standards that were not my own and became the person that I thought I was supposed to be.
After graduating from high school, I went to college to pursue a degree in engineering. Regrettably, my drive to achieve this goal stemmed from a place of insecurity rather than from a place of empowerment. I believed that becoming an engineer would give me a chance to prove my value to the world. If I succeeded, I would be deemed as important and worthy in the eyes of those around me.
So, I woke up every day for the next 5 years chasing a dream that made me unhappy, unfulfilled, and unaligned. The life that I wanted did not resemble the life I had. The constant inner battle being waged within me stripped me of my authentic self.
I was so invested in the perception of being known as a highly competent, responsible woman that I never stopped to consider if my actions served me. I naively assumed that accomplishing these so-called successes would lead to happiness.
Hitting Rock Bottom
The reality of what followed led to a serious wakeup call. I felt alone, ashamed, exposed, and deeply flawed.
I believed that my imperfections were inadequacies and questioned my worth as a person.
To hide from these feelings, I isolated myself from friends and family and stopped attending college altogether. Trapped in a self-deprecating loop of rumination, I eventually spiraled into a deep, dark depression.
Too embarrassed to reach out for help, I buried my burdens and kept my struggles to myself.
I was left feeling hollow, like a shell of the person I had once been. Filled with an overwhelming sense of emptiness and indifference, I was going through the motions just to get through the day.
My “Aha” Moment
After months of feeling miserable, it hit me: The only way to move through this was to face my fears, to face myself.
I had been avoiding silence and stillness at all costs. And it was in facing that silence that I realized that I had been running from the feelings that I so deeply feared to face.
The courage to confront my beliefs and acknowledge these feelings is what allowed me to let them go and set myself free. It felt as if I had woken up and come home to myself.
It was clear that I needed to make some major changes in my life, so I began reevaluating my priorities, paying attention to what feed my energy, and moving in the direction of the life for which I was indented.
Becoming an Agent for Change
Overcoming life’s obstacles has taught me how to take accountability and ownership for my own journey. I’m learning to love and live unapologetically, no longer seeking permission from others. And I have begun to appreciate the sacredness of life.
My journey of self-discovery has ignited my passion to help other women create an intentional, purpose-driven life for themselves. Too many women do not realize that their lives belong to them. They do not yet realize that they are worthy just by being.
My vision… is to help every woman understand the immense power that resides within her.
My goal… is to inspire women to think bigger, to help them get out of their own way, and to create success on their own terms.
My aim… is to mentor, motivate, and support them throughout their journey to financial security, confidence, and independence.
The Freckled Spirit 